My reasons to blog

Quite often, I understand my piece after I've written it. After the flow's stopped, I take a look, read it fully, or in parts, and then come to know what was in my mind and later, realize why. I'd stopped writing for the last coupla years, for reasons I'd rather not think about. I just never gave the importance it deserves, and slowly it became easier to not write at all. This GRE essay-writing got my writing juices flowing again . It took a 45 minute deadline for me to write about a given topic. And after the essay was over, I proceeded to finish the rest of the test, but the feeling of clogged pores washed clean and the new found feeling of cleanliness remained. This continued with the next few essays that I had to write under similar deadlines. That's when the importance of regular writing dawned on me. It's my breath of fresh air. My 15 minutes of contact with myself. And since I can't store like camels , I gotta take in the fresh air lungful at a time. I am fundamentally against deadlines and restrictions like that, but I have to admit it gets the adrenalin flowing. Left to myself, there's always other important work ( ones with more visible and more instantaneous results) to be done and writing a piece takes a backseat all the time.

Blogging is like my captain's logbook. You cant put it off for later, or you'll lose track. This whole process of " keeping track" has taken precedence over my fundamental apprehensions about being " on-stage". I have spent quite some time in the limelight, but have always hated it. Blogging didn;t happen for months because of this thing of "publishing". But left to myself, every piece I write is scattered in a different word document in a folder, the feeling of continuity vanishes, and the pieces take forever to complete. I keep making changes to them months after I've written it. Because of that, it no longer remains a true reflection of my state of mind when I wrote it first.

Because blogging is an orderly log , I can draw parallels, reminisce and correlate better because of its orderly presentation. It's not the date and time that matters to me, as much as the sequence of my writing. I am not too many posts old, but I've already been able to see patterns repeating. One such pattern is that of perspective. I'm either looking outside or looking inside. Mostly, I correlate outside happenings with my state of mind. But reading my posts, I can at least make out circumstances that cause me to look inside or outside, and my response , and the degree of response to that.

This entire thing is the reason why my blog doesn't have a blog-hits counter, or any other accessories. I'm already bored of unkymoods, though I find it rather cute. Contentwise, since my main aim is to clear the fog in my head through writing, there won't be political discussions on this blog, there won't be reviews of books or music ( though if I feel I've really been affected, I might blog about it - the effect, largely). In fact, there'll be none of the stuff in this blog that I myself find interesting about other blogs that I read. At least not at this stage. However, I am planning to put up a Links and " currently into" Books and Music section, again, for better evaluation of the circumstance. Half an hour a day for blogging is more than enough time for all the introspection I need to do. And it's about as much time as I have. And you don't always have to strike a pose of the thinking (or the blogging) man to get into introspection. It happens even as I hang out the day's wash.

This said, I'd like to post some good news that I got today morning at 6. My cousin's won the State level NTSE scholarship!!! :D I'm gonna loot him today .