It's alright, whatever it is.
Whatever it may appear to be.
It's magic. Real while it lasts.
The green, the chirp, the silence.
The noise, the jarring, the pain.
It's all okay. None the worse.
It's just there. For this time.
But it's not okay to cling to it.
Even after it's gone.
Even that clinging, is just there.
For that moment.
Why look for comfort
in familiarity.
Why look for comfort in
the unknown.
These are not questions.
These are answers.
These times that I'm not lonely
Just alone.
What is there to hold on to?
Why hold at all?
The fog vanishes , the sun glows.
The night blots out the light.
Do they all release each other,
or do they hold each other tight.
In a sequence that leaves
comfort in its wake.
The comfort that it'll pass.
The comfort that it'll come back.
Just like the
The sun, the chill, the clouds.
The breeze, the rain, the bad roads.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Blogger Anonymous
Why the anonymity? I've been asked this question a million times , and have never found satisfying answers for it. It just feels like the right thing to do. I could try to reason my way out and come up with some supporting reasons, but the whole idea of blogging , for me, is to keep reasoning and a few other things in their rightful places. I blog to forget my physical existence for sometime. To connect with a larger reservoir of energy as I type on.
The concept of anonymity was not even under question. It was THE only way to go for me. I started questioning it only recently.
Most of the times, it's a certain thought I would scribble about, and that, to me , is a universal entity. Any body can have a thought. ( Alright, we knew that..). But to tag these very thoughts with identities and to post them as belonging to this physical entity reiterates facts that I am only too aware of. Seeing my name right below the post, would take me right back to the world I am trying to look out of. That sense of oneness I get, is lost. At least diminished. When I see something as vague as white_carnation after posting, I'm okay, because some seemingly distant entity just unleashed one more thought out there on the web. It isn't escapism, though I was highly inclined to believe that. It's just about following free will and per chance avoiding something that tends to diminish my awareness of the larger picture.
It doesn't matter WHAT kind of topic I post about. It also doesn't count that I don't keep up to blogging statistics that people 'expect'. What matters is whether I was able to look at a peacock and at least paint out a crow. Nevermind that part about visual appeasement. I'm only speaking of nearness and approximation.
It also doesn't matter WHO made that post. The author doesn't matter to anybody, not even to me. What matters is whether you related with any aspect of the crow or the peacock or with the concept of flying or dancing in the rain. Even that, matters only to one who reads. You.
Not to me, really. It does feel good or bad, but it doesn't really MATTER. To quote Kansas Brothers, " All we are is dust in the wind". So are our thoughts.
Sure, blogging is a good way to network and all . But for contact to be useful, it should be established only with mutual consent. And I've met quite a few fantastic people through the net. There isn't any anonymity beyond a point. The truth is out there. And this is what I see of it. There's plenty of good out there. But as a brief snapshot of what's in my head at some instant, I don't think a digital or a physical signature does much. I myself probably won't stand up for these thoughts since they keep changing. But I don't feel the need to legally sign below. It's just too much of a stamp for me. Ownership is never the issue.
Analysis, feelings, thoughts.... these are little bridges one builds. Why name some of them after myself.... Does it matter if it is the Howrah or a nameless yet beautiful hanging bridge near Parapady? Such fleeting entities, I wonder why I would weigh them down with my physical existence.
After all this, I'm still anon only because it feels okay. Logic notwithstanding. :)
The concept of anonymity was not even under question. It was THE only way to go for me. I started questioning it only recently.
Most of the times, it's a certain thought I would scribble about, and that, to me , is a universal entity. Any body can have a thought. ( Alright, we knew that..). But to tag these very thoughts with identities and to post them as belonging to this physical entity reiterates facts that I am only too aware of. Seeing my name right below the post, would take me right back to the world I am trying to look out of. That sense of oneness I get, is lost. At least diminished. When I see something as vague as white_carnation after posting, I'm okay, because some seemingly distant entity just unleashed one more thought out there on the web. It isn't escapism, though I was highly inclined to believe that. It's just about following free will and per chance avoiding something that tends to diminish my awareness of the larger picture.
It doesn't matter WHAT kind of topic I post about. It also doesn't count that I don't keep up to blogging statistics that people 'expect'. What matters is whether I was able to look at a peacock and at least paint out a crow. Nevermind that part about visual appeasement. I'm only speaking of nearness and approximation.
It also doesn't matter WHO made that post. The author doesn't matter to anybody, not even to me. What matters is whether you related with any aspect of the crow or the peacock or with the concept of flying or dancing in the rain. Even that, matters only to one who reads. You.
Not to me, really. It does feel good or bad, but it doesn't really MATTER. To quote Kansas Brothers, " All we are is dust in the wind". So are our thoughts.
Sure, blogging is a good way to network and all . But for contact to be useful, it should be established only with mutual consent. And I've met quite a few fantastic people through the net. There isn't any anonymity beyond a point. The truth is out there. And this is what I see of it. There's plenty of good out there. But as a brief snapshot of what's in my head at some instant, I don't think a digital or a physical signature does much. I myself probably won't stand up for these thoughts since they keep changing. But I don't feel the need to legally sign below. It's just too much of a stamp for me. Ownership is never the issue.
Analysis, feelings, thoughts.... these are little bridges one builds. Why name some of them after myself.... Does it matter if it is the Howrah or a nameless yet beautiful hanging bridge near Parapady? Such fleeting entities, I wonder why I would weigh them down with my physical existence.
After all this, I'm still anon only because it feels okay. Logic notwithstanding. :)
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Expression
There was a time not too long ago, when I used to tell ( ok... pester..) a few people to blog more often, since they write good, insightful posts. It never made sense that people stop writing, specially when they're gifted with clarity of thought and an articulate mind. I would wonder how people can go on for so long without expressing themselves.
Now I know better.
One just reaches a stage where some other form of expression takes precedence over discrete, quantized units of expression like words. It seems almost criminal to try and trap those birds of thought in gilded cages like words.
Other than that, one sometimes also faces an impossible situation, where "writing" seems to be as impossible as trying to clutch a moonbeam in your hand, or trap it in gilded cages. You're able to write only if thoughts present themselves to you in discrete forms. If the very source is analog, the task is quite impossible. You'd probably be deluding yourself, as you write on.
Of course, this too, is a passing phase like all the others. As fleeting as the bouts of verbosity I suffered from when I first started blogging. But that's only the initial deluge when the floodgates are opened. After a while, the flow subsides. On that gate.
In my case, music took precedence over words for a while. Hence the hiatus. Just like how certain phrases in Kannada that would keep you in splits, lose their humour when you translate them in English. And no amount of prodding would get me to blog when words don't come close to what I want to say.
There is such a thing as Intuitive Understanding, which isn't a flash in the pan, unlike the rest of these forms of expression. Most often, that is what we try to express through our attempts to string together words, brush strokes, colours, and notes. Life isn't all about words, gestures, deeds, caresses, punches, brush-strokes, colours, clear notes, chords, progressions and harmonizing notes. It's about WHAT we express through those. And I'll be blessed if I could put a finger on that. But coming back to expression and its forms,
Are there forms of expression that don't involve quantization?
We sure do have things to express that aren't bound by space, time, definitions, opinions, et al. But is there a non-discrete way to express them? Can continuity/purity of such elements be maintained even as we try to expess those through " percievable " methods?
Now I know better.
One just reaches a stage where some other form of expression takes precedence over discrete, quantized units of expression like words. It seems almost criminal to try and trap those birds of thought in gilded cages like words.
Other than that, one sometimes also faces an impossible situation, where "writing" seems to be as impossible as trying to clutch a moonbeam in your hand, or trap it in gilded cages. You're able to write only if thoughts present themselves to you in discrete forms. If the very source is analog, the task is quite impossible. You'd probably be deluding yourself, as you write on.
Of course, this too, is a passing phase like all the others. As fleeting as the bouts of verbosity I suffered from when I first started blogging. But that's only the initial deluge when the floodgates are opened. After a while, the flow subsides. On that gate.
In my case, music took precedence over words for a while. Hence the hiatus. Just like how certain phrases in Kannada that would keep you in splits, lose their humour when you translate them in English. And no amount of prodding would get me to blog when words don't come close to what I want to say.
There is such a thing as Intuitive Understanding, which isn't a flash in the pan, unlike the rest of these forms of expression. Most often, that is what we try to express through our attempts to string together words, brush strokes, colours, and notes. Life isn't all about words, gestures, deeds, caresses, punches, brush-strokes, colours, clear notes, chords, progressions and harmonizing notes. It's about WHAT we express through those. And I'll be blessed if I could put a finger on that. But coming back to expression and its forms,
Are there forms of expression that don't involve quantization?
We sure do have things to express that aren't bound by space, time, definitions, opinions, et al. But is there a non-discrete way to express them? Can continuity/purity of such elements be maintained even as we try to expess those through " percievable " methods?
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