Greener Pastures - I

Just got my school marks cards attested by the principal. Yes, the purpose is to send those to the universities I am applying to. I have applied for an MS in DSP to a few universities in the US. And hope to get my admits by March.

Just got some unintended feedback from well intended people. I've been thought of as a person who intends pursuing the rigors of MS and not bat an eyelid, all for the sake of more lucrative work. I don't know if there are actually people who're so greedy that they're willing to gain knowledge for it. Knowledge doesn't always come easy. Not in graduate school, if I am to go by what I hear about it. But I do know for a fact that finding myself going back to the same subject and spending long hours on it tirelessly is a sure indication of deep interest. Not Einstein caliber, but interest that makes you alert and keen to know about something, interest that gives you happiness when you make a little progress, interest that holds your attention. Most importantly, interest that's not driven primarily by money.

I agree, money is important, I also agree that I'm not past money. I do have a few basic needs to be met, and it so happens that money is needed for me to fulfill my desires independently. But if I was one of those who's never found an interest,or never pursued one, it's then really ok to choose a line of work that'll keep a roof over my head and allow me to fulfill at least my responsibilities, if not my interests. But if I've been lucky enough to find my calling in life, would I give it all up ( all = financial security that comes from a regular job, social and emotional security that comes out of living upto everyone's pre-defined expectations of you) and walk away towards where I see light?

If that light was so strong that it blinds me to all the worldly ties I just mentioned, I would certainly take it as my calling and do what it takes to get there. I know I probably sound like I'll drop off everything and go away to the Himalayas to meditate. But far from it, I feel I can never be truly happy if there're people who truly love me grieving over my decision. They grieve only out of their love for me.

There's this other category of people who don't quite see the white light. They see it through glasses that they've chosen to wear, or have been made to. In Bangalore, the common, rather unfortunate story is that every adoloscent, who's nearing the age of 18, has been conditioned to believe that he/she has to join either the IT club or the Doc's club. Anything "less" than that, and one gets branded as wayward or a rebel. I know people with absolutely no quantitative and mathematical thinking, who have Bachelors of Engineering Degrees in their hands. The University that grants them this degree is a joke, but more on that some other time. For now, there's this crowd where each person has lost his or her identity even before they grew old enough to find it. I know a guy who writes so well that you'd have to be a stone not to get moved by his work. Intense pieces of art . The guy is working as a testing engineer in one of the companies. Reason? Parents never accepted the fact that their only son had no intentions of earning fat pay packets, be an esteemed IT guy, take his parents to US for holidays. But I also know a guy who topped IIT-Chennai in 2nd semester, and left college right after that to write beautiful telugu poetry. He is now an editor in Hyderabad.

All I know is that the light has to be at least a little strong before it can guide a soul. One cannot stray away pursuing vague flashes of light in the dark. Not when someone else is holding hands too.
But if the light is strong, and if you have faith , it would be worthwhile to take the divine hint.